2017年愚人節(jié)笑話分享「精編版」
導(dǎo)語： 一座橋用兩根木頭搭成，一根高，一根低。有個拐子過橋，高的那根木頭正好湊合著他的短腿，因此走起來平穩(wěn)，就稱贊說：“天底 下就數(shù)這座橋造得最好。”下面是小編整理的2017年愚人節(jié)笑話，歡迎閱讀。
愚人節(jié)經(jīng)典版笑話
不用了，家里人知道我的名字
醫(yī)生對護士說：“你去問那位受傷的太太的名字，好通知她家里。”
護士一會兒回來后說：“病人說：‘不用了，家里人知道我的名字。，”
快點兒走有啥用?前面也有雨嘛
有個男人在雨里慢慢行走。路上有人見了覺得奇怪，問他道：
“雨下得這么大，你怎么不快點走?”
他從從容容地答道：“快點兒走有啥用?前面也有雨嘛!”
找錢
有一天，一個人在沙漠里挖坑。有個過路的人見了，問他挖什么，他說：“我在沙漠里埋了一些錢，現(xiàn)在找不到埋的地方了。” 那人說：“你埋錢的時候應(yīng)當(dāng)做個標(biāo)記呀!”
“我做了標(biāo)記。”
“什么標(biāo)記?”
他說：“當(dāng)時天上的烏云正遮著它。”
大吃一驚
護士：“喂，您是教授嗎?告訴您一個好消息，您做爸爸啦!——就在剛才!”
教授：“噢，請您先不要告訴我妻子，我要讓她大吃一驚!”
多納爾母親的來信 我還想給你寫，可惜我已經(jīng)把信封了
親愛的多納爾：
寥寥數(shù)言，讓你知道我還活著。深知你讀得不快，所以我也慢慢地寫。你回來的時候?qū)⒄也坏轿覀兊姆孔恿耍驗槲覀円呀?jīng)搬了家。先前住在這里的那戶人家，不想改變他們的地址，把門牌拿走了。因此，我無法把家里現(xiàn)在的門牌告訴你。
你父親找到了有趣的新工作，他下面有500多人——他在公墓割草。
今天早晨，你的姐姐生了一個可愛的嬰孩，是男是女我還沒弄清楚，因而，你究竟當(dāng)了舅父還是當(dāng)了姨父我也說不清。
昨天，你爸爸陪我上醫(yī)院去看病。醫(yī)生把一根小管子放進我的嘴里檢查體溫，還叫我10分鐘不要開口。你爸爸說：要是醫(yī)生肯賣，他愿意出10鎊錢把那根管子買下來。
上星期總共下了兩場雨，第一場下了三天，第二場下了四天。
你的慈母
附言：我還想給你寫，可惜我已經(jīng)把信封了。
那你叫她不要等了
紳士初次到倫敦，對警察說：“我和妻子各自走失了，要是她經(jīng)過這里，你可叫她等在這里嗎!”
警察：“可是我不認識她呀!”
紳士：“呀!一點不錯!我真沒有想到這事，那你叫她不要等了。”
幸虧它幫忙
有個男人上街買了一擔(dān)米，一頭重，一頭輕，不好挑。他抓抓頭皮想出了一個辦法，在輕的一邊放上一塊大石頭。他汗流泱背地把米挑到家，放下?lián)�，長長噓了一口氣道：“今天幸虧有這塊石頭， 不然簡直沒辦法挑回來!”
“不識數(shù)”的播音員
電視里放映精彩激烈的乒乓球賽，引起了老奶奶的'極大興趣。
看完后她嘖嘖稱贊：“球打得好，球打得好!可惜偏偏找了個不識數(shù)的播音員!”
小孫孫聽了不解地問：“人家咋不識數(shù)?”
老奶奶說：“明明是兩個人在打球，他偏說是單打。明明是四個人在打球，他卻硬說是雙打。他少數(shù)了一半，這不是不識數(shù)是啥?”
最好與最糟
一座橋用兩根木頭搭成，一根高，一根低。有個拐子過橋，高的那根木頭正好湊合著他的短腿，因此走起來平穩(wěn)，就稱贊說：“天底 下就數(shù)這座橋造得最好。”
千萬別穿帶鞋帶的鞋出門
記得那年的四月一日 ，我走在上學(xué)的路上，看家前面的哥們鞋帶開了，就提醒他。結(jié)果他說你別騙我了，今天愚人節(jié)。 這不是亮點。。。。亮點是。他才剛說完，就踩著鞋帶，摔了個狗吃屎。。。
就這么任性，愚人節(jié)過生日
我問老媽：真倒霉，為什么我的生日是愚人節(jié)，老是有人拿這個調(diào)侃我。
老媽說：因為我的生日是婦女節(jié)，從小就被人取笑，所以我當(dāng)時就下定決心找個人轉(zhuǎn)移一下大家的注意力。
本來你的預(yù)產(chǎn)期是四月末，后來特意把你從四月一號剖腹產(chǎn)生出來了。。
求求你相信我啊，我真的愚人節(jié)生日
看到一高中同學(xué)寫的朋友圈，我笑了半天。內(nèi)容是：你們還是人嗎?老子愚人節(jié)生日怎么了?!你們不信就不信吧!還非要要晚上幫我慶祝!老子特么訂了2大桌好菜，一個人看了一晚上!
看看誰嚇誰
有一次愚人節(jié)戴上面具去街上逛悠，突然看見前面有個朋友，我想嚇嚇?biāo)�，就拍拍他的肩膀，結(jié)果轉(zhuǎn)過來的卻是一張空白的臉皮，我當(dāng)場就被嚇壞了，怕的趕緊跑回家了結(jié)果第二天聽另一個朋友嘲笑我說她只是戴著面具，天，聰明反被聰明誤啊囧死了!
愚人節(jié)英語版笑話
1.-What the day is it today?
-Today is April fools'day.
-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar.
-Oh!it is really April fools'day.
-Haha!you were cheated!
2.Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better!
3.A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn''t come true!". The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
4.Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily
5.A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!
6.At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!
Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you
7.A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?
The wife: Very good, thank you.
The husband: And, what happened to my present?
The wife: Which present?
The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?
The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!
8.A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn 't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn. "
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